If someone would ask me who is the one i trust the most, it is and has always been God. Thats my connection with Him - connection through trust and belief. I am a religious and God fearing person. And I love him the most.
He has always been there to protect me from the evil and has given me the strength when I had to deal with problems all alone. He has been there to take care of me. He has supported me and been there for me whenever I was alone and was in need of someone. He has taught me various lessons in life. I can't believe myself for the way I have changed from a pessimist to be optimistic in life. I have imbibed his words of wisdom which says whatever happens, happens for good.
Everything happens for a reason and everything has a reason. There is bad in life but good is not far away. Its a continuous cycle. Everything has to be experienced if we want to understand the meaning and value of life. And that is why it is important to have faith in God. He will show us our destination taking us on a right path. He will bring light to our lives when it is in dark.
I share a very special bond with God. I talk to him like to anyone else. I feel like a child when i think of Him who has many wishes, dreams and prayers to be fulfilled. I feel his presence everywhere. I feel as if he is watching me all the time.
Yesterday when I went for a walk, I wasn't able to find a temple open to go and pray. But as I was returning, my walking partner showed me a temple and said it has opened now. I felt so happy and we entered in to pray. I could feel a smile on my face. It happened to occur by itself and i realized that I am smiling from my heart. I felt as if God called me in. I wanted to talk to him for quite a long time but I don't know why I hesitate to do it these days. I want to spend more time with Him but it never happens so. I always used to think and feel that I don't pray to him, I just talk to him, anything that comes to my mind including my stupid doubts. But I never got answers from Him except for once.
I still remember that night when I felt that I am his favourite and special child and I believe I am still the same for Him. I was alone that night. Though there were two girls in that room, I didn't feel their presence. I was telling God that I feel so lonely and the house also seems to be empty as my family members were out of town due to some urgency and I had to stay back as my 10th board exams were going on. And that was when I felt his response for the first time. He told me, "why should you worry when I am there to take care of you." My joy knew no bounds. I was unable to sleep of happiness. I was on cloud nine.
Next, I presented one of my wishes to him. I asked him to appear before me at least once in my dreams. I was specific about dreams because I am such a coward that if He had appeared in real, I might not have opened my eyes to look at Him and would have missed the chance. I mentioned that to Him too like a child. And He did approve and fulfill my dream. He did appear in my dream which ended in a very beautiful way. I could feel that I was smiling in my dream because i saw Him smiling. I still think what my mother would have thought seeing me smile in sleep. I again felt like a child as elderly people say that a child smiles and laughs in dreams because he sees God in his dreams.
I also used to emotionally blackmail Him. I used to take Rs.5 from the cupboard without my parent's permission to buy a chocolate on Saturdays and go to temple and tell him that he can't punish me for this as he used to steal butter, laddu etc all the time but I did only on Saturdays and that too just Rs.5. And I could feel Him smiling and laughing at my stupidity.
That was the bond I used to share with Him. I miss that now. I don't know why I hesitate to talk to Him now. It is said that as you grow up, you move far away from God. But I don't want it to happen in my case.